Posted in Arts and Crafts, Doodles, Zendala, Zentangle

Zendala Craze!

Hello 🙂 A couple weeks ago I ordered some precut circles to do Zendalas. What is a Zendala? A Zendala is like a mandala but is done with tangles. They are a lot of fun!

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This is the second one I have ever done.

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And this is the most recent one I’ve completed. I love the string things and came up with a great idea while drawing them! You’ll have to come back to see what my idea is!

Have a great day / night!

Girl71282

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Posted in Arts and Crafts, Bijou, drawing (attempts), Zentangle

Zentangle’s Bijou Tiles, For Those That Are Curious

Hello friends! I recently bought a few tins of Bijou tiles from Zentangle.com, and I’m sure some of you are curious about them.

Bijou tiles come in this cute little tin.

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They come with this cute insightful tile. Each tin I received came with a different one. They are called Bijou-ism.

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The tiles are blank on one side and the other side you can use to sign it, put the date on, or whatever you wish! They are approximately 2 inches by 2 inches. So adorably cute!

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And here is a couple of tiles I have completed.

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I have found these are easier for me to complete and be happy with the results than the regular tiles. It’s probably because my attention span is so short!

And that’s about it 🙂 For a complete description and information about Zentangle, please visit Zentangle.com.

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Girl71282

Relapse vs. Lapse

Today was group day. There were six of us. I really enjoy group. I’ve made a couple of friends but they are having a hard time staying clean. Their significant others are still addicts not wanting to go to treatment. If you’re a recovering addict you know how hard it is to be around drugs, even if they don’t do it around you.

I had a UA yesterday and saw one of the PA’s  (Physician Assistant). A PA is just like a doctor, besides they can’t prescribe narcotics. There are 2 two doctors there to sign the scripts.

Back to group, today we talked about the difference between relapse and lapse. I need to go back to last week. I saw the Dr last Thursday. The assistant told me not to do any opiates after 10am Wednesday. So, in my addict head I thought that meant go ahead and take some pills kinda like a good bye.

I took two 10mg oxycodone. It had been around three weeks since I took the last 80mg oxycontin. Those two oxy’s did get me a little high. I wanted more after they stopped working, but I didn’t take any because I knew I had to be in withdrawals to be put on suboxone.

In group today, the lady that runs our group told us the difference between a relapse and a lapse. I was counting the days from last Wednesday as my sober day. What I did was just a lapse. If I would’ve taken more opiates after the two that I took, and if I got back into the addiction full force, then I would have relapsed. A lapse is if you do drugs one time and don’t get back into the addiction.

I hope that makes sense. I’m not very good at describing things 😕 So because I lapsed and didn’t relapse I get to move my sober day to the original one, which is September 21st, 2015! I’m four weeks and eight days sober from opiates! This is the longest I’ve gone without oxy’s or Vicodin or any other opiates in seven and a half YEARS. I’m pretty proud of myself. I know some people say you’re not sober until you’re off the suboxone but this is my recovery and my life. If you can’t support me in this recovery, then don’t let the door hit you on your ass on the way out of my life!

I feel so good. I haven’t felt this great in as long as I can remember! I’m told this is the “honeymoon” part of treatment. After around four weeks it should level out and I should mellow out a bit.

I’m so happy I had the guts to do this! Going to treatment was probably the second best thing I have done in my life. The first was deciding to raise my kids and not having abortions or giving them up for adoption.

Well, I think I’m done with this post. Here’s a little mandala that I drew the other day. Have a great day or afternoon or night!

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Girl71282

Posted in Arts and Crafts, Doodles, drawing (attempts), love, Swaps, Zentangle

One of the Swap Doodles

Someone once said not to publish all your art work out there for everyone to see, but why not? If you’re proud of it, show it off! Hell that might be the only way you’ll ever sell any!
Anyways, here is one of my projects for the February swap in a Facebook group. It’s supposed to be a 4x6in doodle or whatever but has to have a heart in it. Well mine is 7x10in, and they’re just gonna have to deal with it! Aren’t artists supposed to break the rules? Here’s the rough draft of it. It will change drastically!

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Love

I think I’ll make the heart fatter. I like fat hearts 🙂

Well, it’s been a day and I’ve completely redone it. Here’s the new heart!
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I used my Derwent watercolor pencils for the pink around the heart, and red and purple for inside the heart. The lock I used a cool gray for, and the black is going to be with a Sharpie. I don’t want to waste my pens on it.
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Here it is with all of the heart colors painted. I’ve been watching Raising Hope the whole time and talking to people on Facebook. I think I’m just going to turn some music on now and finish!

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Finished project

Violá! All finished. I used a Sharpie for the black in the heart, and a Micron 01 for the writing. Derwent watercolor pencils for the color, and all on mixed media paper! One down, two to go!

Posted in Arts and Crafts, Zentangle

The Vernita Rest Area Tangle

So we went to go pick his kids up at the gas station in Othello where I dropped off the last tangle. Guess what? It’s not there anymore! Now I just wait for that email saying they have it!
I decided to make another one and I was going to drop it off in Ellensburg at Central, the university, but they closed at 5, and we didn’t get to Ellensburg until 7:30pm.

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The beginning, aka the string

I’ve decided to use hearts as my string until Valentine’s Day. I haven’t slept real good in a while, and it’s making me really shaky.

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Rixty

In the Facebook group, Square One Purely Zentangle, the tangle for the week is Rixty. I’ve always liked it but haven’t been able to make it look real good. I need to practice more and let the creativity flow!

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Some Kind of Henna Flowers and Knightsbridge

I tried to make some cool looking Rixty but it didn’t work out as planned. I like how the outside of the heart turned out though!

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Almost Finished

Here is the tile completed before shading. It is very busy and Idon’t like the inside so much.

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Done!

And here it is all done! The shading helped make it not so busy looking, I think. It’s not completely horrible!

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Dropped off and ready for a new home!

And it looks even better far away! I left it in the ladies room at the Vernita Rest Area in eastern Washington state! Hopefully someone gets it and gives it a new home!
Now that we’re finally home, after 5 hours of driving and most of it in dense fog, I’m going to work on the swaps I signed up for!

Posted in Arts and Crafts, Zentangle

A Little Town in Eastern Washington…..

A Shell Gas Station to be exact, now has a new piece of art. I was too scared to leave it in Yakima, so Othello it was!

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Finished Tangle
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The back of finished Tangle
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Tangle left on tea for someone to take home and love!

So there it is. I haven’t received any emails from anyone yet, but I sure hope I do!  I once wrote a message and put it in a glass bottle with a dollar for a stamp, and threw it in the ocean. I’ve never heard anything. Maybe it’ll take years to get to land. I dunno!
I do know that I’m now going to make another tangle and leave it at the bookstore at Central Washington University, tomorrow! I should get a response from that one!
Until next time! Ta-Ta!

Posted in Art Journaling, Doodles, drawing (attempts), Miscellaneous, NaBloPoMo, Other Artsy Fartsy Stuff, Zentangle

There’s A Hole In The Ceiling!

Well, I haven’t Tangled for a while and while learning how to draw some things, I learned how to draw wood more accurately. So, here’s my version of a hole in the ceiling of a barn or some wooden building and a big bang on the outside. Or looking down a hole at a big bang 🙂 71 likes on Facebook, and that was before I shaded it! I’m a little proud of this!

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What do you think? I tried the same type of thing a few months back, but I didn’t like the way it turned out. Here’s the old one…….

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I’m thinking I like the new one better, but this could be a time warp or something! Suggestions please?

Posted in Arts and Crafts, Doodles, Miscellaneous, NaBloPoMo, Zentangle

Oops, I Missed A Day!

I accidentally missed yesterday’s prompt, but actually I did it the other day because I thought it was the 5th when it was really the 4th. So what should I do? I think I’ll just do the one for the 6th, maybe. Depends on if I like it 😉

Do I consider myself a professional blogger…..  That’ll be easy 🙂 Negative. No. Nope. Not at all. I do this for me mostly because I’m selfish that way. I think to be a professional blogger you have to have more than the wee amount of followers that I do, more comments that I get, and maybe even get paid in some way? If ya’ll want to start paying me, you’re more than welcome to! I would think I would need to have a domain without WordPress in it.

Thank you to everyone that does follow me, and read my crazy thoughts and ideas. I haven’t written about many ideas lately, but I sure do have a whole bunch saved on my phone. I just need to learn how to use power tools and then I can start posting them! I don’t think I’m strong enough for regular tools.

Thank you to everyone that “likes” my posts, for I know they aren’t that interesting. They’re just ramblings of my life which is really boring! I’ve been applying for jobs, so hopefully soon I’ll have a whole new section on the rumors that are going around at work. That would be interesting. I’m also going to be moving after I get that high paying job, so maybe I’ll do a “House Make-Over” section! That’s not totally played out yet. Hey look at me and all my prettiness while you real people have messy houses!

So, since I like to talk about my boring life, I had a not so boring thing just happen. My 16 year old Noodle came home with an attitude and won’t tell me what’s wrong. That’s not like him. He always tells me. I know he hasn’t been taking his medication for depression like he’s supposed to, so maybe that’s it. I sure hope not. He was doing so well. Maybe it’s because he knows about the break up between the bf and me, which I specifically asked for him not to be brought into it. Maybe it’s the weather! That’s been my reason for everything lately. He’s gonna be really mad when he find out I’m leaving after I post this and take a shower. Uh oh. I’ll ask him to go with me. He’ll say no, but at least I asked. I don’t like it when my noodles are sad 😦

I’ve been drawing all day. I’d post it, but I’m not comfortable with it yet. Maybe some day I’ll post a real drawing and not just a Tangle. Tangles are fun though. Everyone sees different things. It’s great! Kind of like looking at clouds and trying to decide if they look like a dog or a heart. I can put one of those on here I suppose. It’s a Duo Tangle. Only two tangles were used and the string is a heart. So, not so much trying to figure out what it is I drew. Sorry guys! Maybe tonight I’ll draw a weird looking one ya’ll can trip out on.

Well, that’s about it for today. The answer to your prompt is no, I’m not a professional blogger, and yes I have a long ways to go to become one. Love you! 1459308_10152461223332957_6739682057093752865_nLogo

Posted in Mental Health, Miscellaneous, NaBloPoMo

NaBloPoMo!

***CAUTION COULD UPSET YOU IF YOU READ IT!!!***

Wow! NaBloPoMo? “What in the hell is that,” you’re probably wondering. Well, it’s this totally awesome event for November. It’s National Blog Posting Month. I have committed to write one blog post for every day in November. Not just here and there, like I usually do, but EVERY day!!! I’m actually really excited about it. There are some awesome prompts that can be used, and I have a lot of every day things to write about. I’ve been doing a lot of tangling and just practice drawing, and haven’t posted any of them.

I found out about NaBloPoMo from BlogHer. Do you know what BlogHer is? Here is a little bit about them from their website; “BlogHer is a platform for sharing great voices, stories, and ideas. BlogHer Inc., is a new kind of media company, created in partnership by, for and with women, and men, who are leaders across blogs and social media and are passionately commited to quality content.” A good FaceBook friend of mine, Karen, introduced me to BlogHer and I’ve really enjoyed most of the posts. Some I don’t agree with, but that’s life, right? We can’t always agree with everyone!

Today is November 5th, 2014. The blog prompt for today is, “Do you feel you have found your voice on your blog? What techniques have you tried to develop your voice in your writing? What are some characteristics of your personality in your writing?” This seems a little difficult for me. I’m a little apprehensive about my blog. I feel as if I only write when I want to complain about something that has been bugging me. It’s almost like a journal to me. I hope I don’t seem that way in real life! I don’t want to be a Debby Downer!

I like variety, as you can probably see. I like arts and crafts and music and so on and so on. I do like a lot of things! I love that I have a new found talent in drawing. I’ve always felt the need to draw, or the desire to do it, but have never felt that I was any good. I can’t draw a straight line even with a ruler! Through Zentangle, I have realized that it’s ok to make mistakes, and those mistakes don’t need to be erased. Just as in life, you can’t erase your mistakes. You can either dwell over them, or you can make something beautiful out of them. I have three children that weren’t planned, but I sure as hell don’t consider them mistakes! They are my babies. My little joys that put a smile on my face every minute of the day. I am so proud of my boys and I know that they are who they are today because of me.

Unfortunately I was a little irresponsible and ended up having three boys with three different boys. I would call them men, but they haven’t proven to be yet. I’m still waiting! These boys weren’t in their children’s lives until the kids were at the fun age and didn’t have to wear diapers anymore. My oldest Noodle didn’t meet his dad until he was 10. He still doesn’t have a good relationship with him. My middle Noodle’s dad would come around on my Noodle’s birthday and Christmas. He was told by my youngest Noodles father that he either needed to see him every other weekend as was in the parenting plan, or not at all. I didn’t hear from him again for two years in which I had called him to see if he wanted to start his visitations. Noodle was five, almost six. My youngest Noodle’s dad has been in his life since he was born, but for the past four years he’s only been allowed to see him for eight hours a week. He was supposed to take a parenting class and then he could go back to court to get his visitations increased, but he chose not to. His girlfriend and her five kids were more important to him. Now he has temporary custody and it’s killing me. That’s another day’s story though.

I love my kids more than anything and even though two of the three aren’t with me full time right now, everything I do is for them. I’ve been trying to get a job so I can move out and become independent again. That’s me. Mrs. Independent. I would rather work 100 hours a week than depend on anyone, like I am now, which is not fun for me. I feel like such a freeloader. I know I’m not, but I still have that little voice saying, “Mary, get off your butt and get a job!” I can’t wait until the day I get the keys to my next place. Or even the day I get an interview and they say, “You’re what we’ve been looking for and you’re hired!” That day will come. It has to. I have put my resume out to about 50 different places, and this isn’t a very big town. I’ve had responses from three of the jobs, and they are job staffing agencies. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I want an actual job to contact me.

I’m so thankful for my friend/ex boyfriend. He is nice enough to let me stay and freeload off of him until I find that job and that perfect place to live. We’ve been friends since 2002, and together since 2012. I’ve lived with him the past year. We’ve had our ups and downs, but what couple doesn’t? I broke his heart a week ago. I did the unthinkable. I cheated. How could I have done that to such a great guy? A guy that let me and my three kids move in with him and his two kids that he has full time. I do provide the food, but that’s it. I just feel totally worthless and useless for what I have done. On the other hand I cannot seem to distance myself from the man I cheated with. I have tried countless times, which in turn hurt him and made him feel resentment towards me.

He needed me yesterday. I’m blaming the bi-polar, you can call it what you want. I wasn’t there for him when he needed me and had nobody else, because I was sleeping. I was coming down for a slightly manic phase and when I do that I sleep for hours upon hours. This is why I have a hard time keeping a job. This isn’t the first time I have let him down because of sleeping. Now he won’t talk to me and I have no idea of his prognosis. You’re probably thinking, “That’s what ya get ya dirty whore!” But really? Does anyone deserve to be hurt? Even the ones that hurt us?

I push people away from me and I believe I do that so I don’t hurt them. One thing about not having a job, is that I sit here and think, and think, and think all day long. I have almost considered myself crazy because of all the stuff I was thinking up. That’s when I decided I needed to get a job and get out. Not for him, but for me. I need to be Mrs. Independent again because that’s what makes me happy. I’ve got it backwards. I want to be the breadwinner. I want to be the one that works 60 hours a week and come home to a nice clean house, dinner, and kids that are fed, homework is done, and they’re ready to spend some time with me before going to bed.

I dream of this house with my children and Him, all of us sitting on the couch, the boys inched up to the TV more so they can see the big bad Halo guy. He plays with my children. He laughs with them and makes them laugh and shows them how it is to be happy, even though he isn’t himself. It’s always the “happy” ones that take their lives. You know why that is? If you know would you tell me please? One of the reasons I fell in love with this Man is because he could make me laugh every day. He would laugh at himself, which would make me laugh at him. “What are you thinking Mary? Look at who you’re going to be with! Look at my hair sticking out everywhere! What a dork! And you’re going to leave him to be with this? What are you thinking?!”

Guess I wasn’t thinking. I see the picture now clearly. We didn’t have our snowball fight. We didn’t get into that house with the couch inched up to the TV to see the bad Halo guys. I messed it up. I haven’t cried over a boy in ten years. I have cried the most I have ever cried in the past few weeks. It doesn’t get any better. I don’t know how it did before because I sure don’t see an end to this heartbreak. Ten years ago we didn’t have FaceBook to spy on the ones we wanted to be with. Now I see all these things he posts and think they’re pointed toward me, which I’m sure the ones about being a worthless slut are, and it’s driving me crazy. Just delete him, you say. I don’t want to. I don’t want to lose any type of connection between the two of us and FaceBook is all I have right now.

Right now I am again hurting someone. Someone that has been so dear to me for so long. He’s my bestie. I can tell him anything, and now I really feel like I can tell him anything. He says he loves me but I think I’m just here for the company. I’m not very good company considering I don’t talk much. We do have some good conversations sometimes, especially when we’re driving. We both like to just drive to clear our heads, but I always want to go with him when he wants to go by himself. I’m a little selfish with him. He gives me what I want if he can.

This is why I have decided to become Mrs. Independent again. I won’t hurt anyone. I don’t hurt my kids. Maybe I’ll save up for a new camera and start doing photography again. I used to LOVE taking pictures. Especially of children and macros. Children are so innocent and they don’t have to pose. You just make them laugh and you have a great picture! Macros make me concentrate so hard, and I love it! It takes a lot for me to just do one thing at a time. Like now, I’m talking to the oldest Noodle, smoking a cigarette, typing this, and sending text messages to a friend. The friend that I am living with that I have hurt. Oh and I’m listening to the TV too. Gotta love Dr. G: Medical Examiner on Discovery Health! No I was not paid to say that. I do like the show!

Well, this turned into a depressing post so I think I’ll just end it now and do some tangling. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day! Maybe it’s the weather. It’s all cloudy and windy here in the Pacific Northwest. Fall is here! Today reminds me of Thanksgiving when I was younger. I used to be so afraid of the wind. I was afraid of weather period. Thunder, lightening, being too hot, too cold, fog. Everything! I’m not anymore though 😉 So there is hope for me! Have a great day readers and I hope I didn’t put you in a gloomy mood!

Posted in Art Journaling, Arts and Crafts, Inktober, Zentangle

Inktober Numero Uno (Number One)

Good morning loveys. Today is October 6th and I just heard about it being “Inktober.” Create with ink! That’s so easy for me! So, here’s the first one of the month. You’re supposed to create one a day or five a month, or something like that. I’m going to do as many as I can in a month, instead of doing one daily. I’m not very fast.

Here is my little flower when I first started. I used a black Copic Multiliner A-2 set. These are Like the Multiliner SP except they are disposable. So, they’re comparable to the black Microns. I like these better than the Microns though. In my opinion they’re a lot darker and stay on the page better with the watercolors.

The beginning of my flower :)
The beginning of my flower 🙂

I didn’t plan this. I just started drawing that this is what happened. I’m not too upset about it! So after drawing lines and circles I decided to add a little color. I used an orange Micron, green Micron, pink Sharpie, and a yellow Sharpie. The yellow Sharpie over the pink Sharpie made it look orange but I added more orange with the Micron. Fun stuff!

With a little color
With a little color and some oopsies!

The next step was to add color to the background, so I used my General Kimberley’s water color pencils. I love these things! I don’t really like the look of colored pencils, and I don’t like the way they feel when you’re using them. The General’s are pretty smooth feeling though! I definitely want to get some more colors!

Pretty red flower with the colored pencil look background.
Pretty red flower with the colored pencil look background.

I used three different colors of blue to get the background look and a little water on a paintbrush. This is the fun part!

Here it is, mixed with water on a paintbrush.
Here it is, mixed with water on a paintbrush.

I still thought it needed more, so I started adding more circles, bigger than the ones on the plant. You can’t really see the ones on the plant unless you enlarge the picture. The last part was shading, and this is the end result! I do like this one 🙂 I think I’m only going to get better as I do each one of my “Inktober” projects. Maybe I’ll frame them and hang them in the hall. I’ve never framed anything I have drawn before.

Finished Product with shading.
Finished Product with shading.
Finished product without shading and with a little enhancement.
Finished product without shading and with a little enhancement.

That’s it for my first “Inktober” project. Now on to make the second…..
Thanks for stopping by!