Posted in love, Miscellaneous

Good Night Ramblings….

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I did a bad thing today. I relapsed on my new addiction. I thought I wouldn’t think of it at all. Then the birthdays come along, 12th & 16th. It even wished me a happy birthday. How come you always said a different day when I’d ask you when my birthday was? Another game? We like games, yes my addiction and me. I’m getting tired of them. I want my vacation in warm water!
This addiction is a bitch. They all are, duh. I think I will get rid of this addiction once and for all. Why keep anything you’ve given me…..which is nothing. It’s kind of hard to write this way. I wish I had the guts to just come out and say, “YES, I TEXT MY EX BECAUSE IT’S HIS BIRTHDAY AND THE STUPID MEMORY THING FROM FACEBOOK REMINDED ME THAT YOU MOVED LAST JULY! SO ALL THESE OTHER GOOD MEMORIES CAME UP, THEN THAT SONG COMES ON. FUCK IT’S 11:11! DR PHIL, I LOVE YOU BUT YOU HAVE TO GO. FOR NOW.”
I caved to be told,  “you have a strong big heart for someone out there, if you haven’t already found one.” You know those kind of guys that are totally oblivious to the world when they’re into a game? That’s how it felt anyways. I’m gonna put a picture right there

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Who is that cute little rocker?! Oh is some crazy 33 years old “cute” girl.
I always wanted a little girl, secretly, I really love my boys and wouldn’t trade them for girl at any time. We’ll, if Brady doesn’t get a damn Job! Just kidding. I need to get a job. Why can’t it just be easy and I’m given one? I know, I know, life isn’t easy or it’d be called easy not life! Good have I heard that one a few times. Want in one hand, shit in the other…… a girl can wish, right? I love this song. It reminds me of the Galaxy club in the Muckleshoot in Auburn that one night. CRAZY night. We always have crazy nights/mornings! Wake up with one of us getting a concussion and not knowing how. And I’ll be back there Friday night.
So, I think I’m going to draw a little! Night!

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Girl71282

Posted in family, Health, Mental Health, Miscellaneous, NaBloPoMo

What We Fear the Most

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What do you fear the most? Spiders? snakes? manipulative, narcissistic people? Or is it simply Death.

We live our lives just to die and go to heaven. Why don’t we live our lives while we’re ALIVE instead of living for the unknown? I don’t know what happens when we die and neither do ANY of you.

If I was the leader of one of these “cults,” I would tell you that when you take your last breath, after your heart has beat the last beat, when you’re dead, you teleport to a different planet that is millions of years away from Earth. That would be my explanation for the after life.

But, you wouldn’t have to live your life based on what could happen when you’re dead! For all ANYONE knows, I could be right, and everyone no matter what “sins” you have committed or how many doors you’ve knocked on to preach to people about how they should live THEIR lives!

Death is a scary thought, if you believe everything you watch or hear. I don’t think it’s scary. I’ve come close to death a couple times and decided after the last time, and hours of thinking, I do not care what happens when I die, or after the fact. Shit I may be going to hell, but at least I can say I lived my life. I’ve loved, I’ve hated, I’ve experienced feelings I didn’t know existed, and none of it was based on what is going to happen to me when I’m dead.

I’ve sinned like crazy! I’ve never asked for forgiveness once. Who am I asking? I’m not asking one single alive person! I live for my kids and me. For the people that return the love I share. For the people that have given me those awesome feelings I didn’t know existed. I live for now, not later.
To be continued……

Girl71282