Posted in family, Health, Mental Health, Miscellaneous, NaBloPoMo

What We Fear the Most

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What do you fear the most? Spiders? snakes? manipulative, narcissistic people? Or is it simply Death.

We live our lives just to die and go to heaven. Why don’t we live our lives while we’re ALIVE instead of living for the unknown? I don’t know what happens when we die and neither do ANY of you.

If I was the leader of one of these “cults,” I would tell you that when you take your last breath, after your heart has beat the last beat, when you’re dead, you teleport to a different planet that is millions of years away from Earth. That would be my explanation for the after life.

But, you wouldn’t have to live your life based on what could happen when you’re dead! For all ANYONE knows, I could be right, and everyone no matter what “sins” you have committed or how many doors you’ve knocked on to preach to people about how they should live THEIR lives!

Death is a scary thought, if you believe everything you watch or hear. I don’t think it’s scary. I’ve come close to death a couple times and decided after the last time, and hours of thinking, I do not care what happens when I die, or after the fact. Shit I may be going to hell, but at least I can say I lived my life. I’ve loved, I’ve hated, I’ve experienced feelings I didn’t know existed, and none of it was based on what is going to happen to me when I’m dead.

I’ve sinned like crazy! I’ve never asked for forgiveness once. Who am I asking? I’m not asking one single alive person! I live for my kids and me. For the people that return the love I share. For the people that have given me those awesome feelings I didn’t know existed. I live for now, not later.
To be continued……

Girl71282

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Posted in Health, Mental Health, Miscellaneous, NaBloPoMo

My last Wishes

I come from a family of dancers, yet I don’t know how 😉 I want it to be a celebration of my life. I don’t want my kids to hurt. I want them to dance. I want them to be preoccupied with the party. Doing the caterpillar around the room. I want one more time by daft punk and three little bird by Bob marley ONLY. Make sure my kids know how much I love them and ALWAYS will, even after I’m gone.

Kinda morbid, right?

But what if I get hit by a car tomorrow? I want my ashes in Jamaica on the Sandy beaches. That way you can have a vacation too. One I’ll probably never go on.

I want what I want. That’s all. Leave all my bills to Susan Snyder, krautkremer,or whatever the fuck she’s going by now.

The most important part is that everyone’s happy. I won’t be suffering anymore. I’ll be at peace.

I’ll see you again 🙂 💜💙💛💚💋