I can’t believe it’s been six months already! I’m so thankful for Suboxone and Ideal Options/Ideal Balance. They really are my heroes! They are my cheerleaders in a world of haters.
About seven months ago, I was using, and at the beginning of the month it was to get as high as I could. Towards the end of the month, when I was having to rely on other people to give me drugs, it was so I could feel “normal.” I didn’t know what to do.
I knew I had to tell someone, but who? People are so damn judgemental! I thought about it for a few days. A few very hard days. I finally came to the conclusion I should talk to my counselor about my problem with drugs. I mean, I should’ve already told her so she could do the right treatment for me.
By the time I told her, I was already detoxing. I had always thought that if I made it past four days, I was in the clear. I didn’t know anything about PAWS. Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome, a.k.a. bitch. These things can last the rest of your life. I wasn’t just coming off of one drug, but three. It wasn’t fun, but I’m still kicking.
The only thing I’ve really noticed is my memory is still bad. It’s getting better, but nowhere like I used to be. When you do drugs, or at least opiates, you make new channels in your brain. Instead of just going from one receptor to another, the opiates go straight to your pleasure receptors. It bypasses everything else.
When you are recovering from drug use, it’s like you’re starting all over. Not just inn every day life, but you’re making your brain healthy again. Your brain is learning how to pleasure yourself without those drugs. How to appreciate the little things.
Recovery isn’t easy, but it’s so worth it. I feel so much better than I did six months ago, or for the past seven YEARS. I don’t just look healthy, I am healthy again. My brain is getting back to a healthy brain and I might just not get dementia!
If you’re struggling with addiction, reach out. There are non judgemental people who care about you and want the best for you. You really need to do it for yourself though.
Family members of addicts, ultimatums may seem like the way to go, but what really helps is being supportive and non judgemental. There is a root cause for an addict to become addicted to drugs. Let your addict know you’re there for them, as well as others.
And as always, send me a message on Facebook, Twitter, or comment here if you need help. I will support you through this journey.