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Things Change

And it doesn’t always seem for the best. I just can’t get over how perfect it was in the beginning. I ruined it. I ruined my own happiness. I do blame the bi polar on it. 95%. I also should have known better to just stop it. Let it go until I was single and on my own. Back then I was his girl. Not anymore because,  “it makes me look stupid to be with someone that’s living under some guys roof.” I’m just sex now. I know ifi leave him be now there will be no us later on. He is impatient and doesn’t think I will get another job so I can support myself without anyone else’s help. I have to have two jobs, possibly even three for all that I want and NEED. It doesn’t happen over night for someone like me. Does that mean he doesn’t care one way or the other anymore? I’m not important anymore? I need to have a good attitude and just be happy with what happens and with what doesn’t happen.

Everything happens for a reason.



I love many things; my boys, recovery, painting, drawing, crocheting, knitting, and the list goes on. Recovery from PTSD and addiction. Acrylic and watercolor painting. Soft yarn, in neutral colors. This is my place to ramble and not have to hear the judgements of others. Thank you.

2 thoughts on “Things Change

  1. Reblogged this on Life of Sporky and commented:
    you can’t say that you ruined your own happiness… it just doesn’t work that way.. It sounds like you have been through alot but I just don’t believe that everything that has happened is your fault. I won’t pretend to understand your relationship, or judge it, but you need to do what’s right for you and only you can decide what is right for you – no one else. I hope you share more of your crazy thoughts 🙂 I enjoy reading about what’s happening in your life 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I just now saw this comment, so I’m sorry I didn’t reply sooner 🙂 I’m going to write about that relationship again soon, when I can figure out how to put the words in my head on paper! Thanks again for the comment.


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